Knowing God’s Will for You

Ask any military expert: knowing when to attack is of vital importance. The ancient Romans knew this; and that is why, before any battle, they inquired of the chickens. You read that right. To discern whether or not they should execute their battle plan, the Romans asked . . . some chickens. But not just some ordinary chickens. They asked the sacred chickens. According to Roman religious practices, the will of the gods regarding an upcoming battle could be discerned by simply offering grain to a handful of sacred chickens. If the chickens ate the grain, it was a sign from the gods that conditions were favorable and that victory was nearly assured. However, if the chickens refused to eat, it was a warning that they should postpone fighting to another day. On the morning of the Battle of Drepana (that’s right, the one in 249 BC), the Roman naval

I Wouldn’t Want That Job has a list of the 50 worst jobs in America. To prove that their list is scientifically accurate and not just a list of jobs they personally would hate to have, they developed the “Misery Score.” The Misery Score combines four factors: job meaning, median income, job satisfaction and projected job growth. For some unknown reason, they believe that a job with no existential meaning, low pay, no satisfaction and low hope of advancement equals misery. As a result, they rank the worst five jobs as the following: #5 – Lathe and turning machine tool setters (I’m not sure this is accurate. I’ve known many immigrants from Ireland who love this job and are perfectly content in it. After all, have you ever met an unhappy Irish Setter?) #4 – Dry Cleaning (I’m not sure what would cause this job to be so high on the misery scale unless it

Painting a Portrait of Authenticity

A man has to do what a man has to do; and when a man finds an Alfred Hitchcock marathon on TCM, a man has to watch every single movie. If you don’t understand that, I can’t help you. It’s a man thing. You’ll need to check your copy of Wild at Heart to see exactly how, but it is. And so, because it was my manly duty to invest myself in these movies, I did. I watched Rear Window, Strangers on a Train, Psycho, Dial M for Murder, Rope and many others. You ask me how I watched so many movies, and I will tell you. Hitchcock is a genius. Why do I say that? Because Hitchcock believed, “The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.” See, all things are possible to them who relieve. (OK, truth is, I actually DVR’ed

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